Iowa City will always hold a special place in my heart for me. In 2010, I lived in a great apartment with my brother while I was doing my student teaching at the nearby schools. Anyone who has been to Iowa City, knows that it is a vibrant, thriving college town. There is always something to do and someplace to eat. Never a dull moment. My brother and I grew very closer to each other and made quite a few memories there. It was a fantastic year.
This past summer, my husband and I began going to Iowa City for much different reasons. From July 10th up until Jonah’s delivery, my husband and I were making 2 – 3 trips to the Iowa City Hospital a week. We would dread every moment we spent there. Whether it was the two hour car ride or that feeling of being trapped in the hospital and never being free again. It felt like we lived at the hospital. And the thing was, we never received ‘good news’ when we were there. Jonah was either doing the same or doing worse. We created a negative connotation with this town.
Today was the first time in almost 6 weeks my husband and I have gone anywhere since my sweet boy was born. And today we went to Iowa City for the Hawkeye football game.
I guess you could say we had fun, but yet for me, it was excruciating. First of all, the football stadium is right next to the hospital. So from the moment we left, it felt like we were going there. Like I still had Jonah inside me and we were going for more bad news. Secondly, this was ultimately the last place I saw and held my son. I could literally see where my room was, which this stirred up every kind of emotion inside. All I could think about was that night in the delivery room and thinking that my life would never go forward again. That night I felt as though I was frozen in time and I couldn’t envision myself the next day, week, or month. It felt so weird to be across the street at a football game a little over a month later. Sitting at the game I just wanted to go back in time, as painful as that night was (emotionally and physically) and feel my sweet boy again and hold him one more time. I wanted to do it again.
Some may think it’s crazy that I would want to relive such a painful night, but it is my most vivid memory of my sweet boy. I would do it again and again.
But, the game was fun. It was nice to get away from our small town and just be on our own. My brother had given us these tickets in hopes we would have some quality time together. And we did. And by golly, the hawks won!