Today was another hard day. I cried a lot today. But tonight was a Sunday night, which means, family supper at my parents’ house. My dad always out does himself and cooks up a fantastic meal. It was tomato, mozzarella, and basil salad, steak, potatoes with sour cream and chives, French bread and pound cake with fresh strawberries. Delicious. Even though I haven’t had an appetite since I was pregnant, this actually hit the spot.
After supper, my family went out to our farm to plant our Jonah tree. His tree is a Colorado Spruce that was given to us by a very close family friend during Jonah’s funeral. It was hard watching my husband and my dad dig a spot for the tree. It reminded me of when they filled Jonah’s grave at the cemetery. It also made me think of how I will have to watch a tree grow instead of my baby boy. I won’t get to see him grow out of his newborn clothes and won’t get to see him grow into the handsome man I know he would be. Nothing is the same anymore. My dreams for my little boy on this Earth have vanished. My only hope is that I will hold him again and tell him I love him.