Day 17: Time – Capture Your Grief

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Only 65 days ago I gave birth to Jonah. It feels like a lifetime ago and yet it feels like yesterday. Last night I told my husband that it felt as if I was living a dream and I just want to be woken up. I still feel like this is all just a bad dream and that I’ll wake up soon. I sometimes make up lies to myself that I’m still pregnant. It may sound completely crazy, but I think it’s my own denial. I think I am in denial that this happened to me. I sometimes wonder about what I’ve done to deserve to lose my first born son. It just goes through a person’s mind when they see everyone around them having perfectly happy, healthy babies.

It’s just not fair.

Plain and simple.

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