Nobody knows the pain I feel.
Every day I am reminded of my pain. And this pain I feel is in other words my love for Jonah and his absence. This pain is defeating. I never knew I could love someone so much and I never knew my heart could hurt this bad.
I should be preparing for Jonah’s arrival now. I’d be 38 weeks pregnant and probably scared out of my mind for what was to come. I’d be quizzing my friends who have children about labor and what it was like. I’d be preparing the nursery and finalizing all plans.
I’d be so happy.
Instead, I already know what labor and delivery is like. My nursery is nonexistent. And my only plan is to try to survive.
Instead, I’m heartbroken.