Jonah’s First Snow

Today I woke up and looked out the window to see beautiful snowflakes rapidly accumulating in my yard. My first thought was, “This is Jonah’s first snowfall.” I immediately got dressed and went out to the cemetery to find my sweet boy covered in nature’s white blanket. After I left the cemetery, I went home and cried.


It may sound strange to some, but the snowfall really signified the beginning of the holiday season. Let’s face it, you can’t escape the fact that Christmas is all about children. Whether it’s the newborn baby Jesus or the pure happiness of a child opening a present on Christmas morning. It’s all about children and this Christmas, it will be all about how I don’t have one.

So I wrote a letter to my family about the upcoming holiday season…

Dear Family and Friends:

Thank you for not expecting too much from me this holiday season. My pain continues and missing Jonah is overwhelming. The absence of him when the whole family gathers seems to accentuate our incomplete family.  We are faced with the “spirit” of the holidays on television, radio, social media, and stores. We will need the patience and understanding of our friends and family to help us endure the holidays as best we can.

Our family traditions may be too difficult for us to continue this year. We may need to change the way we spend our holiday. Please understand this and hopefully some time in the future we will have these traditions again. Right now, though, we don’t know what the future holds. Whatever our thoughts are for coping with the day, please take our feelings into consideration when you make your plans. 

Please allow us to talk about our child, if we feel a need. Perhaps the single most helpful thing you can do for us is to include our child in the holidays. We want to hear Jonah’s name, to have you recall fond memories, to light a memory candle, to know that you, too, are feeling the absence and remembering our child with love.

As we journey through grief, we will need your patience and support, especially during these holiday times and the “special” days throughout the year.

Thank you for not expecting too much from us this holiday season.

Love Always,

Jonah’s Mommy

4 thoughts on “Jonah’s First Snow

  1. Thank you for sharing your letter. Not only does it help your family and friends remember and honor Jonah, it honors all the little angels. It is so helpful to read what would help you through the holiday season. Today, I picture a big snowball fight in Heaven, followed by some hot chocolate. Those grandparents are having a blast.

  2. I love this! What a great idea! I actually just yesterday wrote a letter to my classroom aides about allowing me a little extra slack during the holidays and realizing that I might not find them so joyful this year. I sent my parents and my sister a link to that article on getting through the holidays. I am proud of you and myself for advocating for what we need. It’s hard for me to ask for things like that, but I think people want to help but just aren’t aware sometimes. Good job.

    • I just thought my family needed to know that I just wont be the same and how they can approach me. I know that it will make them feel more comfortable and wont make things so hard for me too. Are you a teacher? What grade? Last school year I taught Kindergarten. I’m not really ready to go back to sub yet. I hope the school year is going well for you 🙂

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