It’s hard for me to be truly happy or truly grateful for the people and things I have. In this deep, dark place I feel so selfish, but I like being here. I love to relish in the memories of Jonah and the thoughts about what might have been. One day, the darkness will fade and turn into light and I will feel true happiness again. I don’t see it anytime soon, but I know it will come. It’s just the dark, before the morning.