Today, Drew and I put up the Christmas tree and all the Christmas decorations around the house. I had been debating for some time about doing it at all. In my mind, I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas this year. I didn’t want to be reminded of my empty arms or my breaking heart. The thought of being joyful about a newborn baby boy – made my stomach twist.
The more I thought about it, the more I decided that I was wrong.
Whether Jonah was here in my arms or in heaven, this is still his first Christmas. And even though this is his first Christmas in heaven, we are still going to be happy and joyful about the birth of Christ. It doesn’t mean that it is going to be easy, but we are still going to try our best.
So here is our Christmas tree. It is absolutely beautiful. I’d like to think that if Jonah was here, I probably would not have gotten the tree up until the week before Christmas, but who knows.