Lately I’ve just been speechless. I don’t know what to say or do anymore. I have a streak of a couple of decent days where I appear and seem like I am doing alright. I laugh at funny things, I cook supper, I go to the grocery store, pay the bills, do the laundry, etc.

I actually get things done those days.

But now and then, I’ll have one of those days or sometimes even just a moment where the curtain falls and I remember what has all happened. All Drew has to do is look at me and he knows. He knows it’s one of those days or moments where all I can do is sit, cry and think about my new normal.

I cried hard today.


12 thoughts on “Speechless

  1. It definitely goes up and down, in and out for me too. I’m glad you are able to release it when it comes because it seems healthy to do so. I’m sorry your heart is broken though:( It sucks.

  2. Hi, I just found your blog. I did lost my baby in august as well. She was 38 weeks and my firstborn. What you say it’s exactly what I feel now. I thought after 3 months I was doing quite well in my grieving journey, but I’m having the hardest time in these weeks. I don’t know, maybe it’ just xmas approaching, as we should have our baby with us now.
    sending hugs to you. I will follow your blog now, thanks for sharing your feelings.

    • Hi there. I am so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry we have to be on this journey. I think it may be the holidays that are getting to us. Who knows though. Maybe the reality of it all is kicking in. Thinking of you and praying for you!!

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