The other day I went shopping for some much needed household items, Christmas gifts and other odd and end things.
At Target, I found the most perfect frames for Jonah’s precious footprints and one of his ultrasound pictures. They are 3 inch by 3 inch frames, so I had to trim part of the pictures. This killed me. I asked my husband if I should cut them or not. I felt like I was committing a crime. They are so perfect and I only have a few things of Jonah that it was hard to change something of his.
But I wanted to display them. I want people to come into my house and see them and feel him. I know during Jonah’s funeral, many people didn’t realize that these were his actual footprints. They assumed I just got them from the internet or something. Which this lead me to believe that they just thought when a baby dies inside you that you just have some magical surgery to remove the baby or the baby just disappears.
Nope. You go through 12 hours of labor and deliver your silent baby into the world. You hold him and rock him and take his little footprints and handprints.
They’re real. They’re his. And now they’re mine.
I have only ever shared these precious pictures to Jonah’s family and some of my very close friends. These are my treasures. My little pieces of the greatest thing in my life. The one thing I can look at and either completely fall to the ground and sob or smile in pure amazement. Sometimes I take them out and kiss each little foot and little hand. I try to imagine doing that to him now – kissing his wiggly toes and gobbling up his little fingers.
They are perfect and too beautiful for this world…