Yesterday Drew and I took a much needed ‘Day Away’ from home. We needed a day away from work, the house and just everything. We needed time to ourselves. We went to Waterloo and spent the afternoon shopping and had lunch together. It was so nice to spend some quality time with him. We didn’t even purchase that much. It was more of the fact that we spent the time talking, laughing and reminiscing together.
We had a fantastic day.
While talking, we reminisced about these pictures. On the left, is Homecoming 2002 and the right is a picture from our wedding in 2011. We have changed so much over the years, but yet – remained the same in so many ways. I remember that night in 2002, I was a freshman going to homecoming with a junior. I was so nervous. My hair, makeup, dress and braces (haha) had to be perfect. This was our first ‘big date’ and I was so already in love with this boy. Thinking back about that night, I remember wondering how long Drew and I would be together. Little did I know His plans for the both of us.
I think about the photo on the right. Our wedding day. October 11, 2011. It was absolutely beautiful. Stunning to say the least. We were surrounded by all of our family and friends on the most gorgeous fall day. In front of my family, friends and God we professed our commitment to each other through the good and the bad.
And on that day, your wedding day, you think you love someone the absolute most you can ever love, but it isn’t until after the ceremony, reception, food, gifts and dancing that your life together really begins. The days when your husband drives you crazy because he never remembers to rinse his bowl after using it or put his work clothes away after wearing them. Or the days when you fight about the most ridiculous things that don’t even make sense. The days when you both sit and go through the finances of buying your first house – the pros and the cons, can we make this work? Or the days when you look at your husband in the eye and tell him that you missed something very important that month – the day you tell him he is going to be a daddy.
Even after all of that, you think you love something the absolute most you possibly can.
And then the worst happens.
After months of planning, preparing and the excitement – both of your worlds shatter. You both lose the only thing you ever felt as though you did right in the world. You lose a piece of you and a piece of your partner. You hit lower then rock bottom and you hold on to one another in hopes to survive. And together, while the waves are crashing and the wind is whipping, you make it to the surface, then to the shore, and then maybe the beach. You look over to see you both are still holding on to each other amidst the storm.
It isn’t until then that you know you absolutely love someone.
2013 was a hard year for us. Nothing happened the way we told each other it would. God’s plans for Drew and me were so different then what we expected. I know if I could I would bring Jonah back, but I know I can’t. This is who we are and how God is shaping us around His plans. I don’t like that my baby is in my arms, but I can only imagine His reasoning and His intentions.
Jonah has a greater plan then I could ever imagined for him. God is using him as the ultimate chapter in my book. Sometimes those pages make it hard to look back, but he will always be my favorite part. The part I read over and over again.