I’m different lately.
I’ve noticed myself becoming bitter and jealous of everyone around me.
I know that it’s ok to feel these kinds of emotions considering the deep loss I’ve experienced, but I don’t like it. I found myself wincing at the sight of a newborn photo online and feeling angry at the thought of someone else having an easy-going pregnancy and perfect delivery. I know they are innocent. I use to be that way. The type of innocence or invincibility that makes you believe that nothing terrible could ever happen to you. Thinking, that only happens to other people. Not me.
I wish I could have that back. I wish the bitterness would subside and my heart would be filled with joy again.
So I lift my hands and pray…
Please help me be free from my bitterness. Fill my broken heart with the fruits of the Spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Help me to understand that Your plans are greater than my own.
For You know the desires of my heart.