I Won’t Let Go

Thank you to the person that sent me this video when I really needed to know that someone was still with me on this journey. This song fits so perfectly right now that it is kind of scary. I am about to hit the 6 month anniversary of Jonah’s death/birth and I’m sure by now people think I’ve had enough time to grieve and let go. I don’t even know if my family and friends read my blog anymore. I’m sure most people think I should be able to function as a normal human being and not let my emotions get the best of me. I’m not normal after this. I will never be my normal self. There will always be the thought in my mind about this time in my life. It will never simply, go away. Sometimes I can’t believe it has been this long already. I can still feel the pain like it was yesterday. I still feel the reminders that my arms are empty and aching. But I still can’t believe that this happened to us.

I read an article about another mother whose daughter was born an angel. She described her death by saying how not only did her daughter die, but whether she wanted to or not – she had to participate in her death. I know this is why I am still having a hard time dealing with my anxiety and constant sadness that creeps into my life.

I am still standing, but I still struggle.

So thank you to the few people who constantly check in on me and ask me how I’m doing or say his name. I still need you and it helps.

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won’t let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I won’t let go
Won’t let you go
No I won’t


One thought on “I Won’t Let Go

  1. I hated that. When people quit asking if you were ok, even though you wanted people to quit asking. I used to have friends and family read my blog and comment too, but that has all stopped. You will always have the support of the BLM community. We will always be here for you, even 50 years out. Hugs

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