Today.

Today was like any other day, but then again it wasn’t. Some days I am able to ignore the constant switch in the back of my head that can turn on at any given moment to remind me of my heartache. Today I couldn’t ignore the switch. It mostly came on when I was alone. Even being alone for just a few brief moments – the tears came.

By the time I came home, it was a waterfall of black tears. Who knew that crying was perhaps an easier way to take off your makeup.

So I took a shower and sobbed.

I probably sound like a lunatic and I am sure that people think I have gone on long enough about the death of my son, but please know I have no idea what I am doing. Each day my goal is to survive and the past 6 months I have achieved my goal each day. Some days I succeed more than others.

I saw this on a dear friends facebook page today and thought it was beautiful.

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5 thoughts on “Today.

  1. You don’t sound like a lunatic at all….sob, kick, scream, whatever you need to do. I will never grow weary of hearing about your little boy or how you’re feeling. Losing are little ones is so tragic….we are all stumbling about down this path. Sending you hugs and prayers…

  2. You sound just like me and I don’t think we are crazy!!! Some days are good some days aren’t and that’s ok! Love the quote I just may have to post it to Facebook myself. Praying for you!

  3. I love that as well. I found it on Pinterest and posted it when I was sick of no one mentioning him at Thanksgiving. I think you sound totally normal for this terrible situation. I wish none of us were dealing with this.

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