I left work early today to spend my time buttoning up and organizing our last bit before we turn in our taxes. A family friend does our taxes since ours are already complicated. We visited him last month to see what we needed to do yet. He mentioned that we should look over our medical bills from this year and tally it all up to see if we could ‘write it off.’
I’m sitting here and adding up every medical bill I paid in 2013. At each bill, I remember the appointment. I remember if it was before or after we found out about our complications. Then when I come across a bill from Iowa City that reads the date I gave birth to Jonah, I can’t help it but cry.
Once I added it all up – I realized over 10,000 dollars later and no baby in my arms.
Just a broken heart.
This was a hard year.
Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually and Financially.
Don’t get me wrong, we have plenty of money and are doing fine, but it just really hurts. If Jonah was here, I could care less about it. It’s just that every bill that comes in the mail is another reminder that my body failed me and it failed us. A silly little piece of paper turns me upsides down. And it seems as though they won’t stop coming in 2014.
10,000 dollars and no baby in my arms.