Debbie Downer

I’m starting to realize more and more that I am the Debbie Downer of any group.

If you have seen SNL – you know what that means.

But I totally agree that I am.

I truly am a Debbie Downer.

Every where I go – I am reminded of my great loss and the pain, guilt and sorrow that carries with it. People don’t know how to act around me any more. I don’t get invited to things anymore, people awkwardly avoid talking about anything happy around me ofย some have plain just disappeared.

I am sorry I am the Debbie Downer all the time, butย what makes you uncomfortable for a moment – lasts a lifetime for me.

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8 thoughts on “Debbie Downer

  1. I find people just pretend that Aj never existed…they don’t ask how we are, or even acknowledge what we’ve been through. I imagine it’s more for their comfort, then ours…..sending you lots of hugs Maggie

    • I totally agree with you. This is the time we need our friends and family most. Even if it is just a phone call to say they have been thinking about us. We go through the motions each day, but at the end of it all we still hurt and are still grieving. Thanks for reaching out ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I agree, people sometimes think it’s easier not to bring it up because they don’t want to see us sad, but the truth is, we are sad and bringing it up makes us happy – even if we cry. Sometimes I find myself holding my tongue (not being a Debbie) when people complain about their children or complain about how long or intense labor was….I just want to scream, “At least you have a healthy child!” Don’t worry Maggie, we’ve all been there (or still are!).

    • I know. I feel the same way. Not saying anything doesn’t make the hurt stop. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me. I wish I had all those sleepless nights and early mornings with my baby – so don’t complain about it!

  3. Hi Maggiepus! Just got around to reading this post. I do know exactly the Debbie Downer SNL skit u are referring to, which is hilarious, but makes me sad you feel this way. I always have a blast with you! I love when you talk about Jonah because I know it makes you happy and I feel it helps me get to know you on a deeper level. And I don’t want you to feel that you can’t grieve around me. Grief is a process with no set deadline or expiration. Grief may take a month, a year, or a lifetime. However long it make take, I hope you know and feel that Stephen and I will always be here for you and Drew ๐Ÿ™‚

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