Next Week

This weekend I turned 27 weeks.

Which means 28 weeks is just ahead. The third trimester.

I have a bunch of mixed emotions about when that day finally comes. I’ll be happy when it’s over and I’m on to 29 weeks, but all awhile I won’t be able to quit thinking about how this was the week I was told my baby no longer had a heartbeat and the week I delivered him.

Grief has a funny way of going about things. Especially after time. Out of nowhere sometimes the tears will just come and they won’t stop. I think it’s because I haven’t cried in awhile and I must have needed to cry and let it out.

I’ve been crying lately because I’m scared. I’m scared I won’t get to take this baby home either. That something will happen. My husband is such a good man and some days I’ll go to him saying I think something is wrong, but he calmly reassures me that everything is ok. My mind has a funny way of playing tricks on me. With Jonah, everything went wrong and it’s like my mind sometimes won’t let things go right in this pregnancy.

This weekend Drew and I talked about how excited we are for her to arrive. We talked about the moment that we hear her cry for the first time and how glorious that sound will be! We never got to hear those sweet cries from Jonah.

Everyone is so happy for me and my sweet girl. I don’t know how many times a day I get stopped by people in town, messages or phone calls from people who tell me how happy they are for us and how they have been praying for us.

So I please ask… keep praying for us. For my sweet girl, Micah. Every day in this pregnancy is a miracle. Every day I pray to our Lord that she be kept safe, she keeps growing and knows how much I love her. I also ask him to give my little boy a kiss from his mommy.

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