Every passing year since Jonah’s death, the month of August rolls around and it somehow takes me to a different place. It takes me three years back. To a place full of sorrow, unknown and fears. It was a scary time in my life and a time I am not soon to forget. Looking back […]
For the moment when we finally meet again, this song will play… I have loved you for a thousand years… I’ll love you for a thousand more…
The other day the sun was shining, but all I felt was darkness. Everything went to silence as I was getting ready for the day and Jonah’s song came on the radio. It brought me back to his burial. We played a song at his graveside as we watched family and friends release blue balloons […]
Saturday morning, Drew and I went out to our farm to blow out the 4 inches of snow we received over night. We walked about a mile in the deep snow to get to our farm, so we were dressed warm. We did our chores and decided to afterwards go to the cemetery to see […]
Today, Drew and I put up the Christmas tree and all the Christmas decorations around the house. I had been debating for some time about doing it at all. In my mind, I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas this year. I didn’t want to be reminded of my empty arms or my breaking heart. The […]
This has been a really, really bad day. We had to put our family dog, Big Red, down today. He is by no means a ‘spring chicken’, but he had a stroke a few weeks ago and lost mobility in his front left leg. He was about 70 pounds at his best, so he was […]
I have often described myself as a very deep wound. Every day it heals a little, but with every step forward – the scab pulls away and breaks open and starts to bleed again. Some days bleed more then others. But even after time, I’ll always have this deep scar.
Last week my husband and I worked on putting together some of the bedrooms in the upstairs part of our new house. One of which rooms was suppose to be Jonah’s nursery. When we moved into our house in August, everything that reminded me of being pregnant and having a baby – I had my […]