It has been over two and a half years since I last held my dear little boy in my womb and my arms. But after all this time and the time ahead, my heart still feels him and still loves him. Every single day I am reminded of him in some small and also big ways. Micah has a large part to do with that.
Someone asked me the other day if Micah was my first and I had to tell them that she was not. That she has an older brother who was born an angel. It was obviously not the response they thought they would get as they pleaded to tell me they were so sorry. I just smiled and said that I have been blessed with more than most. It’s true. I really have.
Six months after Jonah was born I couldn’t tell you that. That I had been blessed. All I could tell you was that I was so sad and depressed. I still have my sad times, but they are few and far between. But even though time has helped to heal my deep wounds, I still hurt now and then. Contrary to belief, just because I have my rainbow baby does not mean I still do not hurt. The pain of losing my son and all the hopes and dreams I had for him is burned so deep that they will always be there. It is because I loved him so and still do.
You are still loved sweet boy. Always on my heart and mind.